de Zuvia 的囈想十日談 第一日：脫殼在四月

<十日談>，義大利文藝復興時期作家喬萬尼·薄伽丘所著，以十四世紀黑死病橫行的的翡冷翠為背景，三男七女為了躲避瘟疫避居到市郊的山間別墅，在酷暑中為了排遣解悶因此約定彼此一人一日都要講述一個故事，一共十日。這些故事批判當時宗教與權貴的腐敗、歌詠愛情、譴責禁慾，成為文藝復興時期人文主義的代表作品。

雖然可能無法像作為經典的十日談一樣寫滿暢快淋漓的一百個故事，但至少承載著這樣的隱喻，我也想試著從皮繩愉虐的世界中，談出點饒富況味的事情。

而囈想十日談的第一天，就從脫殼日談起吧。正好這次四月的脫殼很幸運的有好朋友Andrew Huang在我嘗試一些新技法的時候幫我拍了照片，就一併分享給各位。我自己不大敢說自己「師承」了誰，畢竟在繩縛的風格上我還有很多在摸索的地方，技藝也才剛算是勉強在百般鍛鍊後，方能登上大雅之堂的程度。剛開始學繩縛的前一年半小林人在國外，那時候教我最多的是妮可，後來妮可去了日本，換成小林教給我最多東西。因此若真的要說「師承」的話，或許廣義的來說可以算是師承了皮繩本身吧。若沒有那個在台灣試著開展BDSM社群的皮繩，我想作為一個還在為了碩士學位努力的人，我不會有機會接觸到關於日式繩縛的這一切。

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所以對我來說，在脫殼日我從來不覺得自己是在「表演」，一來是因為在成果上，總覺得自己在脫殼日很多的吊縛都是在做一些新的嘗試，無論是和新的人合作或是試新的想法，那都還是很Raw、在節奏上充滿了瑕疵的東西。要說這樣的呈現有符合「表演」或「秀」的資格，那在標準上也未免太輕鬆了些。真的要看到表演的話，我個人還是建議各位有機會能來皮繩的正式演出多看看，絕對會有更讓人驚豔的呈現。

當然更重要的一點是在心境上，我覺得自己在脫殼日的時候並不把自己視作一個表演者，畢竟一開始我們一群人，包括小林、梅子等皮繩的朋友在想著從以前需要報名的Munch，改變到現在自由來去的脫殼日，所希望的也就是一個不分主客、讓所有的人都能盡情玩出自己的可能性、玩出自己覺得盡興的場合。而我也是抱持著這樣的心情在脫殼日上做我想做的事情，僅此而已。

常常看到有些朋友說「我怕生、不敢來脫殼日」、「我不會和別人講話」、「我沒有屬於自己的S/M、不會繩縛，所以不知道來做甚麼」、「我比較喜歡少數人的親密互動、不喜歡公開場合」，但對我來說，所謂的脫殼日並不是一個炫耀誇富的場合，它就只是一個試著凝聚出某種社群的地方。交換喜歡的事情、玩自己所熱衷繩縛、Spanking、充滿綺想的衣服。就算只是就只是單純的來到這裡那也很好，交換想法、找到自己感興趣的人或訊息，如果可能的話，也認識朋友。我並不抱持炫技(甚至炫人)的心情，只期待一方面能在這個放鬆的場合玩自己喜歡的事物，另一方面也期待認識和自己有同樣興趣的人。

純粹的認識朋友，在心態上其實和找S/找M很不一樣的，而且往往可以很明顯的在互動中被感受到其中的差異。那是一種可以一起發想些甚麼、讓一些甚麼成為可能的感覺。其實我一直相信在歐美有這麼豐富的社群文化、能開自己的SM市集、有自己的SM遊行，這不單單是靠一兩個人就能達成的，而是要試著真的凝聚出一種不僅是在「找伴侶」的「共同體」想像，豐富的文化才有可能付諸真實。

這也是為什麼皮繩愉虐邦要投入這麼多的心力在維持各種「公開」的活動、講座、展演，而非純粹只做為一個私相授受的SM俱樂部。因為我們相信也期待著「社群」這件事在台灣的可能性。

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