軍犬II – 97

◎夏慕聰

黑行黑女皇笑笑沒有正面應答小夜，軍犬蹭著主人。牠知道主人的為難。黑行黑女皇原本想要多跟對方聊個幾句，但對方尷尬有些不知如何應答這樣的遛狗遇到同好，便以不同方向告別。黑家一群人一路說說笑笑抵達了目的地。

景物依舊人事已非，世界沒有毀滅，我們還在。小夜蹲在地上翻著包包，拿出了一包長條形的東西，撕開封口。「仙女棒！」不少人看見神奇之物出現。「你竟然帶了這個。」「因為我是仙女啊。我是黑女皇的仙女。」分發給每一位之後，有抽菸的人自己拿出打火機，其他人等著小夜備妥的打火機點燃。呲呲乍響，夜空中閃耀燃燒的火花，黑家人聚集一塊手持著的仙女棒匯集，宛如冉冉揮動翅膀的火鳳凰般，世界依然存在，未來一直在來。

嬉鬧之間，黑行黑女皇來到目黑面前，「脫衣服。」為了避免目黑不懂自己說的話，黑行黑女皇盡量使用簡單的單字詞彙。目黑脫掉了自己身上的浴衣，僅剩一條白褌在身上。「褌呢？」目黑明白黑女皇的意思，但有點遲疑，因為脫掉褌就完全赤裸了。「你想當公狗還是母狗？公狗必須要在主人面前裸露狗屌，母狗則是要完全隱藏……」目黑顯露著聽不懂的表情，黑行黑女皇立刻叫來小夜翻譯。公狗還是母狗？男人還是女人？男人可以當一條母狗嘛？當然可以。抉擇的時刻，目黑膽怯地手向後解開後面纏繞的褌，他選擇當狗要當一條公狗，在黑女皇面前必須裸露坦然現出整副男性生殖器官，狗屌狗卵不可以遮掩。目黑被戴上項圈被扣上亮則牽繩，只差狗尾巴就更完整了。「小夜，小黑給你牽。等會回到房間，把牠的毛剃一剃。」聽得懂黑行黑女皇的話的ヒカル笑了出來。目黑變成的小黑一副不知道等會會發生什麼事情疑惑的表情。「也許聽不懂我們人類說的話，才是一條真的人型犬。」

黑家一行人嘻嘻哈哈的慢慢繞回溫泉飯店。小黑的牽繩輪在黑家想牽狗的人手中。那道節省半小時的階梯，上去比下來更容易，所以小黑如同軍犬般一路犬行回到房間。在小夜率眾鋪床褥以前，她先將溫泉池的水加入熱水，她知道黑行黑女皇等會一定還會想要臨睡前的一泡。備妥一切後，便是小黑的公開剃毛秀。一直到小夜拿著刮鬍刀跟泡沫罐，牠才明白即將要被剃毛。而赤裸的我坐在落地窗前的榻榻米上，主人允許的休息。小黑一副想拒絕，一開口，屁股就被小夜掌打了。「狗不會說人話。」

身為大哥的我，雖然不太情願多了一個狗弟來瓜分主人的時間，但我雙手向後撐著身體，仍忍不住喊著：「主人要剃毛，狗不會說不要。」小夜如實地說給小黑聽。小黑知道自己逃不了被剃毛的命運，只能乖乖地翻身大字朝上，弓著四肢，乖乖等著被剃光光。陰毛被噴上刮鬍泡沫，然後一刀一刀地刮除第二性徵，光溜溜的陰部，牠翹著屁股，等著刮除雙臀之間的剩餘毛髮。「黑女皇，剩下的毛還要剃麼？」小夜詢問。小黑臉色一青，牠身上的毛髮只剩下頭髮腋毛跟腿毛了。

「剃乾淨。」黑行黑女皇站在我旁邊，我蹭著主人雙腿。小夜應了聲，便要繼續處理小黑脖子以下的狗毛。

ヒカル跟小飛黑鴉一旁有說有笑地看著發生的事情。小黑要被洗澡，整個頭都低低不敢抬頭，雙眼不敢直視任何人，牠胯間的狗屌可是毫無狗毛遮掩的直挺挺。「你不去幫忙一下？」小飛問。「牠應該是害羞被其他女人洗澡吧。ㄎㄎ」黑鴉說著。「好麻煩喔，當狗還挑幫忙洗澡的人。」ヒカル碎念，但仍然下到戶外，去幫忙小黑清洗身上粘貼的毛髮。

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