◎夏慕聰
提醒時間的鬧鐘響起，主人將手中燒盡的菸蒂撚入角落的菸灰缸後，便起身交代軍犬先自行練習，然後進入屋內把預備好的雞腿放入微波爐加熱。主人再回到大落地窗前時，看著軍犬自己練習的動作跟姿勢，知道自己訓練調教有成，心是一恬。
「會走路了，那要來練習跑步囉。」主人將牽繩從軍犬的項圈上取下收好。「先走個半圈暖身。」主人命令，於是軍犬開始行走。熟能生巧，軍犬的走路已經宛如同類。主人走在軍犬後頭，只是現在開始沒有牽繩束縛軍犬的行動。「有印象狗狗是怎麼跑起來的嘛？好——小跑步。」主人講完自己便動起來，跑在軍犬旁邊。軍犬行走的速度加快，但就只是快步而已。犬類怎麼跑，軍犬忽然忘了記憶中的狗是怎麼跑步的。「左右前肢先出去，左右後腿再蹬。同步。試試看！」主人鼓舞著軍犬，只是這樣的動作第一次模擬，跑步不比行走，軍犬便怪模怪樣的。「跑的不好看就會像青蛙喔。」主人沒有多的責怪或處罰，只是靜靜的帶著軍犬跑了一圈。
回到起點，主人停下說話：「跑步已經是有點難度，這不要求你今天就達到標準。你自己摸索一圈，我在這裏等你。」主人說完便俯身拍拍軍犬的屁股表示出發。沒有主人隨後從旁跟著，軍犬也無從得知自己的動作如何，僅能憑著自身感覺判斷。忽快忽慢，忽左忽右，自身感覺良好，像隻在庭院裏玩耍的狗狗，自得其樂的奔跑。
快回到大落地窗前的水泥地時，主人已經在那裏等著。軍犬雀躍地奔向主人，即使跑步的動作今日沒有達到主人的標準，但飛奔到主人面前是真的。主人摸著軍犬的頭，「有開心呴。」軍犬吠叫。前肢搭上主人身體，軍犬伸長著舌頭，嘿嘿嘿的喘氣著。主人的其中一隻手上拿了一根熱騰騰的雞腿。搭在主人身上的軍犬很快便察覺。「好。好。好。」主人讓軍犬下來，軍犬的四肢站姿，從膝蓋騰空到著地。「想吃呴。」主人持著雞腿到了軍犬面前，軍犬伸長頭，張開嘴要去咬。但主人移動著手，軍犬得定點挪動著上半身。主人一下左一下右，軍犬只能隨之動作。主人將雞腿慢慢持高，軍犬也就以膝蓋為支撐開始向上。主人持著的高度已經超過了軍犬直挺上半身的高度。主人一手扶著軍犬，讓軍犬後腳墊著。踩著前腳底板，後腳跟懸空，於是軍犬抖著身體，四肢彎曲，真如乞食的狗狗。主人手上的雞腿移動，使得軍犬仰著頭，定點繞了一圈，「逆時鐘再一圈。」主人說。
軍犬重心不穩，只得回到四肢著地的狀態。主人將雞腿持在軍犬嘴前。「伸舌頭。好。舔。」軍犬按著主人指示動作。雞腿這樣讓軍犬來來回回舌舔著，已經滿滿是軍犬的口水了。舔著舔著，雞腿移動了，軍犬也跟著移動上半身。飢腸轆轆的軍犬，腹部發出了咕嚕咕嚕的飢餓聲。「想要吃，就要完成接下來的訓練，才有賞。」
主人開始向左移動，要軍犬身體帶著四肢向左。再向右。軍犬跟著主人。雞腿成為指揮的工具，食慾就是誘惑的訓練。軍犬的動作是介於行走与跑步中間的部分，隨著主人的訓練，已是自然犬的模樣。
「好，發出聲音。用犬聲告訴主人，給我吃雞腿，給我吃。我要吃。快讓我吃。」主人說完，軍犬便低著音「嗯」像是乞求主人給食。主人聽完還再調整軍犬的乞食聲。「好。再來，為什麼不給我吃，為什麼，為什麼。」主人邊說，自己邊帶著雞腿移動，讓軍犬吃不到而動作。「好。我生氣氣了。我要吃雞腿，我要吃。」主人再修正著軍犬的聲音，像是呲牙裂嘴發出嘶嘶，「好。不給我吃，我生氣了，我要攻擊你了。可惡。」主人一步步的讓軍犬發出憤怒，像是會隨時攻擊人的凶犬。
「動作，四肢腳可以緩慢移動，眼神盯著對方，身體繞著拿著雞腿的對方。」軍犬照做，繞著主人，一副隨時會撲上前的模樣，前肢縮緊，後肢大角度踩著腳尖。主人的眼神，軍犬一瞪，忽然便撲了前去，像是暗示般，不用言語，只需默契。「再來。」軍犬壓低著身體，屁股微高，不斷發出呼呼怒聲。再一躍，主人側身閃過軍犬時，刻意的鬆手，雞腿隨之墮落。「咬著。」軍犬無法騰空咬著，雞腿滾到了旁邊草皮上，軍犬趕緊咬起，咬住卻不敢食用。咬回主人面前，呈坐姿等待著主人允許賞賜。尾巴搖晃，真的是狗狗才有的模樣。主人取了軍犬嘴上沾了碎沙小石的雞腿，往大落地窗走。軍犬立刻發出了為什麼不給吃的嗚嗚汪汪聲。主人轉身便在地上放了裝了另一支雞腿的狗盆，給軍犬食用。看著軍犬埋頭翹屁股享食的主人，面露得意的笑，是驕傲著自己將一名軍官訓練成面前這隻赤身裸體、除盡體毛、屁股插了尾巴、匍匐身體翹著屁股，是狗般咬食的軍犬。主人愉悅自豪的點了菸，手捧著手，攏著胸，吸著菸。
這麼仔細的訓練，才有後面狗狗聚會的出色表現~讀一讀發現一件事，之前一直搞不清楚的，原來我並沒有狗奴的靈魂，如果不是當某隻可愛動物的主人，我比較傾向當一隻黏人又愛找麻煩的貓…….
白書這裏的仔細訓練，已經是預期著後面趴體上面的表現了（笑）
SM本來就是一個認識自己的過程啊。
當隻貓也是很好的。
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